Dating a Modern Woman

Photo Credit: Top Tenz

Photo Credit: Top Tenz

I’d like to consider myself a modern woman. An empowered woman who is the product of the women’s rights movement. An independent woman who embodies the song by Destiny’s Child – “pay my own bills” and “depend on no one else to give you what you want”. A strong woman who expects to earn respect from everyone, not just men, when she works hard. A smart woman who is driven to make something of herself beyond domestication and sex. A confident woman who knows her value and loves herself first. If that resonates with you, then you too are a modern woman and should keep reading.

As much as we’ve progressed and demand equality left and right, there is one aspect we have a double standard on: dating.

Ladies, we can’t be selective of which part of gender roles we’d like to modernize. With the exception of one rule that should NEVER change no matter how much we progress: no man should ever hit a woman. Besides that, we always tell men to “man up”, whatever that means nowadays (refer to What is The 21st Century Man?). Likewise, we fought for this new role and we need to embrace everything that comes with it.

We expect the man to make all the moves from asking us out to asking for our hand in marriage, but tend to take too much chivalry as chauvinism. We expect the man to spend their money on us, but we want to make our own money too. Well, I’m here to tell you to “woman up”. There’s nothing wrong with pursuing a guy. There’s nothing wrong with expressing your feelings first. There’s nothing wrong with paying for yourself or even paying for him. Remember, Destiny’s Child said, “Always 50/50 in relationships”.

Why waste our time wondering “what if”, holding ourselves back, and playing games? I’ve been bold enough to make those first moves and I understand it’s extremely nerve-racking. The first time I asked a guy out, I realized how much pressure that is for anyone but felt liberated afterwards. Rest assured, it’s worth it. Things don’t linger, you quickly know if the feelings are mutual or not, and it takes a load of tension off. More importantly, it starts the relationship off on a genuine foot. That is, if the feelings are mutual.

And if they are turned off or intimidated by your modern ways, then you know they’re not going to appreciate an empowered, independent, strong, smart, and confident woman like yourself. It’s worth knowing who’s not going to value your worth.

Trust me my fellow modern women, there are more men out there today that know how to appreciate and respect a progressive woman. But you won’t find them unless you “woman up”.

About Ronnell Morris

Ronnell is the Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of NWYT. She is a copywriter by day, a performer by night, and a triathlete by weekend. She loves Disney, musicals, eating, YouTube videos, list-making, and the colors pink and gray too much for her own good. See All of Ronnell’s Posts


  1. I think this topic is a great one but I would love to hear more details — especially on the double standards that both men and women generally accept when it comes to dating.

    One of the most important career decisions a woman will make is their spouse. Many women don’t consider this when thinking about their future but having someone who will support you not only in your relationship but also in your career endeavors is monumental.

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