I’d Rather Dance With You


Around my preteen years, I was infected with the bug of shyness.  When I knew an individual well enough, talking was fine and relatively smooth.  However, when it was someone completely new… pants.  I was a wreck when I had to speak to someone new—that I wasn’t paired up with due to some school project or another exterior force.

 What does one say to a stranger?  How do you know that you won’t offend them with a joke?  What are the parameters of this individual?  Are they a serious type?  A comical type?  And of course, if you find them attractive, it makes things so much more difficult.  However, for me, it didn’t matter.  I like being on friendly terms with everyone.

 While people will probably respond by singing the old adage “you can’t please everyone,” that doesn’t ease one’s fear.  Questions still run in the head like “what if I ruin a good potential friendship due to ignorance?”  After all, we’re taught that first impressions are everything… right?

 Maybe not.

While it is true that your first impression can leave a big dent on someone, relationships aren’t stagnant.  How many relationships have you been in where you remain good friends until death do you part?  I can’t recall ever having a friendship like that.  There are always bumps and swerves along the road.

Jon Foreman places the idea of friendships into a great perspective:

 “I think that’s what a relationship is… not figuring someone out, putting them in a box and calling that a friendship.  But it’s a dance really, where you’re continually trying to figure somebody out and they’re continually to learn who you are.”

It is a dance.  Friendship is a dance.   Some people immediately connect well and their motions synchronize flawlessly immediately.  However, in most cases, when you start out, you and your partner are bound to move in opposite directions, step off beat, or crunch the others’ toes.  It happens, but that does not mean you just sit down after your first mistake.

Now, I’m no great dancer, but just by observation, I can see that dancing flows easier when the two know each other well—when the couple know each others’ weak points,  tendencies for transitions, and so on.

But that comes in time.

Maybe that’s what inhibits people from connecting today.  Time.  In this consumerist society, who has time to waste in a person that might not become a good friend at all?  Time is money, after all, isn’t it?  Time is short.  Those with an hourly wage definitely comprehend this pressure.

But I have to disagree with Mr. Franklin:  time is not money.  Even if it were, life is much more than monetary gain.  To extend ourselves to another is more important than obtaining eight more dollars to buy something frivolous.  To bond with a friendship can last a lifetime.  That’s something time has no touch on.  Toes might get bruised, but in time, who knows how beautiful the two’s movements might end up creating.

 We aren’t all gifted dancers.  We aren’t always paired with an individual who will dance smoothly with us from the start. But the only way you get better is if you get on the floor and dance.

About Jonathan Seligman

Jon is the Co-Founder and Executive Editor of NWYT. While his main profession is in education/music/history, he has a deep passion for philosophy, theology, ice cream, and everything else that life has to offer. See All of Jon's Posts

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