Moving On Without Closure

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Photo Credit: Tumblr

Closure is a luxury.

You may deserve it. But with the way life and relationships work, it’s more like a courtesy.

Most of the time, we don’t get closure from a significant other, friend, or family member that we have to part with. But with the way life and relationships work, we have to move on. There’s nothing you can do if the other person doesn’t want to or can’t give you closure.

While having closure helps ease the pain and define the future, you should always get closure from within yourself regardless. It’s all about acceptance. Accept that this has happened to you. Accept that there is no other way around the sucky, hurt part. Accept that you will have to deal with the thoughts and memories floating around in your head. Most importantly, accept that you will get better…if you want to.

Hurtful things happen to people all the time. Avoiding the pain and hurt is not healthy, and will only make things worse for you in the end. It’s completely human to experience thoughts and memories, and those fresh feelings will eventually fade away into nostalgia. But you have to make it happen.

Without closure, we’re left to ponder all these possibilities and unanswered questions. Embrace them. Process them. Let it all out. It’s like when you’re trying to come up with an idea and you have to get rid of all those crappy ones that come to the top of your mind before you get to the good ideas. So after you get it all out there, accept that you won’t get closure from them and that you’ll never really know why things happened or what will happen. The only thing you do know is what you can do right now and for your future.

It’s easy to regret what happened or place blame on the other person and other external things. Don’t. Remember that this experience is a part of you now; it’s going to help shape who you are. I believe that things happen for a reason, and there is a lesson to be learned from everyone who comes in (and out) of our lives. Finding the lesson(s) and this person’s purpose in your life for yourself can help you get the closure you need. On that note, maybe this was meant to happen to you. Maybe you needed it to help you grow.

This means you need to spend some time alone in your head. Not a lot of people like to do that, and avoid it by turning to their vices and devices. It’s scary, but necessary to clear your head of all this so you can find the lesson and refocus your life. But don’t stay in your head too long. That can be dangerous.

With that said, use your support system and talk things out with those you trust to get some outside perspective. But don’t depend on them entirely. That can be dangerous, too. They can only help you so much. It’s a tough balance, but it’ll all help in building your strength to move on.

Do what you have to do to think this through and stop dwelling. If you have to rearrange your room, refocus your energy on something you enjoy, or get away for a few days, do it. It’s going to be hard and emotional, and it’s going to take some time. But it’s all part of that sucky, hurt part you need to get through.

With or without closure from someone, you’re going to have to work your way back to yourself. But you’re not going to be the same person you were before this. Remember, this experience can evolve you if you choose for it to. And that’s all the closure you really need.

About Ronnell Morris

Ronnell is the Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of NWYT. She is a copywriter by day, a performer by night, and a triathlete by weekend. She loves Disney, musicals, eating, YouTube videos, list-making, and the colors pink and gray too much for her own good. See All of Ronnell's Posts


  1. I had to read this. Truth! Closer can’t only depend on the accused. We must always look deep into the situation and acknowledge our role. Often not always when we are hurt or in a deceitful relationship we have contributed to the occurrence. So acknowledge it and then we will be able to understand what happened and able to forgive. When “we understand everything, we forgive everything ” then and only then will you be able to move on and grow.

    • Ronnell Morris says:

      Yes! Forgiveness is understanding. Accept that it’s a part of you even if you regret it. Regret can be a lesson/reminder for life experience with just a change of respective.

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